Burgess family college football picks week one: gif trash talk

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have been waiting for this weekend all summer. I love sports. Especially baseball. But I was reaching the point of “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL, I CAN’T WATCH ANYMORE BASEBALL.” And I love my Cardinals. But they are frustratingly inconsistent this season and in a nail biting race for the second wild card. So with the return of my true love, college football, you could say I was pretty pumped.

Now, my family also loves sports, with the exception of my sister Molly, but she’s very into theatre, and she puts up with the rest of us going nuts over it, so it’s ok. I don’t understand how you don’t like sports, but that’s just me. I digress. My dad and I, almost every year, talk during the games, pick who we think is going to win, and then at the end of the season, compare who picked the most right. Joe usually beats me. It’s allowed, because he taught me everything I know, and he’s the son of a high school football coach. He’s also longtime claimed he could be an ESPN sports analyst. Anyways.

This year, I decided to up the stakes. Which means, instead of just my dad and I, let’s include the whole family. My mother, my two sisters, and our cousin Sarah, who’s an athletic director in Kansas City, Missouri. My grandfather also wanted in on the fun after hearing about it from my mom. We fax him the picks.

There is no prize at the end, although I’m looking for a trophy that is worthy of this (maybe a replica WWE belt?), but for right now, it’s for pride, for glory, and for the ability to mercilessly ridicule the rest of the family in our group text, which is wonderfully called Ginger Squad, because we are a family of red heads.

The games that I picked this week were the following. It was hard, especially with all the insane match-ups. But they were as follows: Vanderbilt vs. South Carolina, Kansas State vs. Stanford, Semo vs. Memphis, Missouri vs. West Virginia, Houston vs. Oklahoma, UCLA vs. Texas A&M, UNC vs. Georgia, Notre Dame vs. Texas, UMass vs. Florida, and FSU vs. Ole Miss.

As my father pointed out, I left out a few great games, such as Wisconsin – LSU, USC -Alabama, but whatever, I’m the commissioner of this league, so I get to pick the games. And everyone’s a critic.

Before I get to the picks, let’s take a moment to talk about this college football weekend kickoff. LSU-Wisconsin? Welcome back Badgers. In a wonderful return to prominence, Wisky showed that it can contend with the big boys. They actually slowed down Leonard Fournette, although I’m still confused as to why he didn’t have the ball that much in the first half, but still.

Alabama-USC? That game looked like Alabama couldn’t get off the ground in the first quarter, and then from the second quarter on, USC looked like a pee wee football team playing against an NFL squad. Another thing: what a way to get revenge on the school that fires you and then leaves you at the airport. Hats off to Lane Kiffin, because his offense just absolutely trampled USC like a bunch of elephants headed to a watering hole. In case you missed the game, it was 52-6 Bama at the end.

And then, after all the hubbub that happened on Saturday, we move to Sunday, and Notre Dame traveling to Texas to take on the Longhorns. I will say this: that was one of the best college football games I’ve seen in a long time. It had drama, it had back and forth scoring, it had everything. Also angry Brian Kelly cutaways are one of my favorite things, and that man was steaming through quite a lot of that game. Then, the fact that it went to not just overtime, but double overtime? Sports nerd dream. I also just love Charlie Strong, but that’s because he did wonders when he was the defensive coordinator at Florida back in the day.

Overall, it was just a great weekend of college football. Lots of upsets, lots of great games, and unfortunately, my two teams looked less than stellar. Mizzou… lets just say I was really happy they scored a touchdown in the game and didn’t get shut out. As for Florida? I am very scared that UMass was able to score a touchdown and that the offense didn’t run rampant on the Mountaineers. Kentucky next week might be a problem, especially since the Wildcats are hurting from a shocking loss to Southern Miss at home.

But, to the task at hand. With all the upsets, it was a pretty closely matched week one, with 3 people coming in 2nd, so we go to the tiebreaker, which is where we pick the score of the last game played, and whoever picked closest to that wins over the other person. My family is very competitive, and trash talk was rampant all weekend in the group chat. No one was safe. My mother and sisters are very fluent in the gif keyboard, and there is no worse burn then your mom absolutely trolling you with a harry potter gif. If my grandfather trash talks me via fax, I may never recover.

Here are the picks from this week:

Joe’s Picks: Vanderbilt, Stanford, Memphis, WVU, Houston, Texas A&M, Georgia, Texas, FSU 27 Ole Miss 17 and Florida

Anne’s Picks: Vanderbilt, Stanford, Memphis, WVU, Oklahoma, Texas A&M, Georgia, Notre Dame, FSU 35 Ole Miss 21, Florida

Rosemary’s Picks: South Carolina, Stanford, Memphis, WVU, Oklahoma, Texas A&M, Georgia, Notre Dame, FSU 24 Ole Miss 10, Florida.

Pop-Pop’s Picks: Vanderbilt, Kansas State, Memphis, WVU, Houston, UCLA, Georgia, Ole Miss 31 FSU 30, Florida

MK’s Picks: Vanderbilt, Stanford, Memphis, WVU, Oklahoma, Texas A&M, Georgia, Texas, Ole Miss 38 FSU 35, Florida

Sarah’s Picks: South Carolina, Stanford, Memphis, WVU, Oklahoma, Texas A&M, Georgia, Notre Dame, FSU 35 Ole Miss 28, Florida

Molly’s Picks: Vanderbilt, Stanford, Semo, Mizzou, Oklahoma, UCLA, UNC, Notre Dame, FSU 24 Ole Miss 21, Florida

So, after a great college football kickoff, here are the standings:

  1. Joe (9-1)
  2. Anne (8-2) FSU score gave her second place
  3. Sarah (8-2) second best FSU score
  4. Rosemary (8-2) third best FSU score
  5. MK (7-3)
  6. Pop-Pop (6-4)
  7. Molly (3-7)

Next week’s games are still being decided, but the match-ups are no where near as exciting as this week. But I’m still sure the trash talk will be just as great. Stay tuned for the update next week. May the odds be ever in my favor, because I cannot lose to my sister, mother and cousin, or I will never hear the end of it. And it’s just down right embarrassing.


  1. Your family sounds like mine! My dad, brothers, uncles and cousins check our feelings at the door and it’s on! We all like different college teams. A handful of us are SEC all the way and we have no mercy.
    Anyway…I enjoy your style of writing and your sense of humor. Glad I found you!!

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